True to form Michael rebounded again. I wonder, sometimes, if he doesn’t get exhausted and then goes down for a few days. One of the hospice nurses also thinks he’s more relaxed on the weekend because I’m right by him. He also reported some pain to me and Gina last night whereas he did not report pain all week. I wonder what the weekend downtime really means. I wish he was more alert when I was here. This morning he’s doing okay and we have an MRI on Monday to try to figure out where he is.

In other news: those of you who read here know that I’ve had issues with my caregiver. I hired someone new to start this weekend and had planned to dismiss her last night. But, of course, we had another twist.

On Thursday I had a new housekeeper start. My last one, believe it or not, had to quit because she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had it operated on and they removed 70 percent of it but could not remove it all. She is starting radiation and chemotherapy. So I’ve been without a housekeeper for about a month. Gina and I have been cleaning on Saturday mornings but I’m exhausted from 12 hour days and then a few hours at night with Michael. My schedule has been get up at 6, get Michael breakfast and get ready for work, leave the house at 7 am. Return at 8 pm. Spend 2-3 hours with Michael. give him his night meds and sit with him until he goes to sleep.

As I chronicled a week or so ago, I told my caregiver and the hospice worker to stop talking crap about me and Gina in front of Michael. I could give a flying floo floo what they think of me but Michael loves us and if he was well he wouldn’t let anyone talk about either one of us. To have to listen to them day after day cannot be good for him. So I let them have it last week and hired someone new last weekend. I thought the caregiver was a bit cowed and seemed to be going out of her way to ask me if she could do things. I didn’t lose my resolve to fire her and thought it was too little too late.

I had planned to tell her it wasn’t working out and we have differing styles. I was going to talk in “I” language and just let it go without discussion.

Then my new housekeeper started on Thursday. She called me on Friday morning so upset. She said she had not slept all night trying to decide whether or not to tell me about her day in my house. She told me my caregiver did nothing but badmouth me and Gina all day and told her she didn’t have to do things (clean certain things) that she was cleaning. She said she talked on the phone all day when she wasn’t gossiping to her about me. The housekeeper tried to give her perspective about what we’re going through but the woman was just interested in telling her how we don’t clean and don’t talk to her when we’re home. When the caregiver was on the phone she let Michael play with the bed controls and he was going up and down and up and down. And he kept asking for me and the caregiver yelled at him that I was at work and how many times did she have to tell him?

Needless to say I was livid the whole day. I was on the first afternoon train home and was getting texts from my youngest son and my best friend to not physically assault. I told them both it was going to be tough. I wanted nothing more than to throttle her.

When I got home I asked her if I owed her anything for supplies and she gave me the receipts. I wrote out a check and her pay and said, “This is your final check. Clean out your bedroom and your bathroom. You are done here.” She said “Can I ask why?” and I said, “Just clear out and get out.” I was almost shaking with anger. I had no inclination to explain anything to her. I find her behavior outrageous. My head just kept saying, “How Dare You?”

She packed and left.

I was relieved and Gina and Michael and me had dinner together and then watched TV together. I told Gina if I ever get sick I want a nanny cam trained on anyone who could possibly harm me at all times.

I am angry that hospice never told me what she was saying and allowed this corrosive person to gossip away in front of Michael. I’m planning on letting them know how I feel on Monday. I am outraged that they wouldn’t tell me and wouldn’t tell her that this sort of behavior is not okay for Michael. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me but he loves me and hearing all this negativity, that he would never allow to go on when he was well, cannot be good. I’ve always heard how wonderful hospice is and they help Michael’s physical needs but his mental health has been jeopardized and I’m very angry about it.

I worry about all the elderly and sick in this world who are subjected to people who should not be anywhere near them…. I worry about me if I get sick and need care. It’s just really worrisome that people don’t get that this sort of negativity is not okay for a cancer patient. I’m just so angry still I could scream. I hope everyone who has a caregiver at home, private and paid through insurance, keep an eye on them and definitely do a nanny cam if need be. No one who is elderly or sick should be subjected to bad treatment.

The journey continues….

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