I slept on the couch last night next to Michael’s hospital bed. I even moved it close so that I could hold his hand while he slept.

About midnight his hands and feet were freezing which is a sign of the heart working hard to get blood to the extremities. He hasn’t eaten since Monday morning and I’ve been squirting liquid into his mouth via dropper but he’s only taking a little at a time.

At 3 am I heard a bit of a rattle in his chest which was faint but woke me up. I turned on the light and looked at him. He opened his eyes and winked at me which is what he did in September when he came out of the initial coma. I said “Hi honey, how are you?” and he said, “Oh I’m okay.” which were the first words he spoke since Tuesday morning. The tumors are mobile depending on how much edema is in the brain so depending on how and where the tumor is moving, he has different abilities and issues. So I never know.

I sat there and held his hand which was freezing at first but as I sat there holding it the warmth came into it. I spent a long time pushing juice, via dropper, into his mouth and he seemed very comfortable and happy. Every time I moved to get some juice of move the blanket he would reach for my hand. There was no desperation to it, just a reaching out that, had he not been in a hospital bed, would have been an ordinary Michael move. I sat with him for about 2 hours and when he went back to sleep I moved back onto the couch.

He’s still sleeping and I don’t know which Michael will wake up or what today will bring but I’m happy to have had that 3 am moment.

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