Michael had an up and animated Saturday. He ate a lot, watched movies with me and Gina and except for the fact that he was in a hospital bed, it was almost like movie nights of days gone by. Like so many the three of us have had over the years.

On Sunday he grew hoarse and low energy and today he’s not responding to me at all. It’s a cycle. It’s the tumors moving around in his head.

We’re planning a birthday celebration for him on Sunday. We hope that the animated person will be here. We want to give him seafood and cake and presents.

One of the joys of living life as if there is no tomorrow and knowing that love is an action is the fact that Michael’s past few birthdays have been really special. And none of us thought he wouldn’t be around; it just felt right to appreciate him in a special way these past few years. Because he’s always been the one who has been there for all of us.

For so many years I wasted my love and energy and attention on people who simply didn’t deserve it. Sometimes when you have someone who quietly gets on and doesn’t ask for anything, it’s easy to downplay their needs. But with Michael we all wanted him to have a nice birthday. Every single year. And I’m glad I stopped wasting my time and energy on less deserving people and managed to give to someone who gave so much to us.

Two years ago we went to see Mamma Mia! on Broadway. Michael’s not a big Broadway person or a musical person but I thought he would like it. I reserved the 3 seats in the back on orchestra level because I know his ADHD drives him wild in a theater and he’d be able to sit on the end and move around if need be (with no one behind us). I also rented, as a surprise, a stretch limo to take us back home.

We went to the Palm restaurant which was a place that originated in New York but we went on our anniversaries in Texas. So we started there as he had never been to the one in New York (the original) but loved the one in Dallas. And he loved the meal we had and then we went for a Mister Softee (his favorite) and then to the show. He loved the seats. He said, “Good thinking dear-o.” when we sat down. I smiled. He loved the play and actually was singing and dancing during the encores. Gina couldn’t believe it.

We got outside and then I wanted to try to find the limo in a sea of limos. I wanted to surprise him by walking up to it. I kept sending him to pushcarts to get me a soda, get me a hotdog. He was a bit frustrated and kept saying “Shouldn’t we be getting to the bus station?” I kept putting him off until I located the limo.

When the limo driver and I found each other I waved Michael to walk with me to Sixth Avenue. He seemed impatient. I walked up to the limo and the driver jumped out and opened the door. Michael was stunned. He had no idea what to think.

He smiled the whole ride home. Kept saying he was never in a limo before. Kept playing with everything. He was like a little kid. We were laughing. It was a magical and fun night.

Last year the boys planned the whole weekend for him. They took him golfing, just the four of them, then we all went out to eat and then the boys went fishing with him in the morning. He loved when the boys took the time to go fishing with him. The boys had arranged the whole weekend. It wasn’t something they normally did but they wanted to do something special for him. And he loved it.

Michael was never the type to ask for anything. When you gave him things, even things like socks and tee shirts, he tended to put them away as too good to wear. I still have tee shirts I bought him two years ago that are sitting in his drawer because they were too good to wear.

He would NEVER in a million years spend anything on himself. So to be treated to an expensive restaurant, Broadway show and stretch limo was really beyond him. But you could tell he loved every minute of it. For him to be treated by the boys to golf and dinner and fishing was more than he could ever hope for. But you could tell he was very very touched by it.

So this year we hope he’s able to enjoy this birthday. It won’t be the big deal we’ve made in the past few years but more than any other year, we’re glad he’s here for it.

And I’m so glad, so very glad, we spent some time living like there was no tomorrow. We had no idea that there wouldn’t be…but we’ve given him nice birthdays that he truly deserves and while I might have regrets over other things…this is one thing I’m really happy about.

Love is an action. Let the people you love know you love them and don’t waste time and energy on those who don’t deserve it. Live as if you won’t have a single regret if there is no tomorrow.

Live like there is no tomorrow. You never know when there won’t be.

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