You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you’d be around
Uh hu, that’s right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh, that’s right

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew?

~ Who Knew sung by Pink (lyrics by Martin, Moore and Gottwald)

My firm puts out an internal “info book” every month or so. It contains your name, home address, home phone and your spouses name next to yours.

The February book came out today and for the first time, there was no name next to mine. I honestly felt as if I had been stabbed in the chest. It physically hurt.

It felt like someone rubbed a big eraser all over my life and that they’re rubbing out a special someone whose name should stand, forever, next to mine. Maybe whoever made the decision to take it out thought they were doing me a favor.

It did not feel that way.

At all.

Just like I did in the early days of grief, I fought back tears the whole way home and then just lost it in the car and sobbed for about 45 minutes over the disappearance…the fading away of such a special person who loved me so deeply.

It was like he was here for just an instant, and he said forever.

Who knew?