And the same black line that was drawn on you
Was drawn on me
And now it’s drawn me in
Sixth Avenue heartache
” ~ Wallflowers

I had a dream last night that Michael was dying and I said to him, “You can’t die. We’re like twins.” And he said, “I know we are hon. Don’t worry. It will be okay.”

And I realized that was a key to the summation of us. It was like twins. Kind of mirror twins but twins. He was the black sheep of his family and I of mine. And we both just toddled off from the families, deciding it was better to be happy than to be understood, and took care of ourselves and our kids. And that was that. We looked at life the same way and were fiercely protective and loyal to each other.

Our interests and hobbies were complete opposites, but in so many other ways we were exactly alike. A friend of mine said, early on, that we were like hummingbirds flitting around at a speedy pace but somehow in tandem with each other. We finished each other’s sentences very early on and knew exactly what the other was going to say before they said it from the beginning. We had a million inside jokes and running jokes. We talked with our eyes and expressions a lot. We could give each other one look and we knew more than a thousand words could cover. We did move in tandem like hummingbirds, like twins.

And I have a million things with hummingbirds on them that we bought each other (mostly he bought me) over the years.

I was at the feed store yesterday looking at hummingbird feeders. It made me sad, and I walked away. Maybe that is where the dream came from. Every one of my hummingbird “pieces” are two hummingbirds. On all the feeders were two hummingbirds. Twin hummingbirds.

It was like twins and as I thought about it all morning, it really did feel that way…like, yes…that is what it was about us.

That is what it was.

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