I do this thing sometimes where I try to concentrate on Michael’s faults or his driving (which made me crazy) or something that is “bad” about him. Whenever I do that it seems to come back to me that he was such a good person, a good man. He was easily the best person I ever met. So I do need to stop doing that because there were so few things wrong and so much right. Because even when I try to concentrate on his faults, like I tried to do a few days ago…some random memory comes back to me…that lets me know I know.

When I was living in Texas but studying for the New York bar exam so that I could eventually move back to New York (I had already been licensed in Texas), it was June. The weather was so humid and hot with scattered thunderstorms each day. I stayed in my house office and just studied all day long. I had taken a week off prior to the exam to study and was planning on doing a marathon session of 20 hours a day.

The second day, lightening struck the house and blew out a lot of things including the central air units. The temperature in the house rose and rose. I said to Michael, “We need to go to a hotel. I can’t concentrate like this.” We could not find a hotel that would take us and our dog and 3 cats. Michael said, “You go. I’ll stay here with all the fans on and make sure the dog and cats have cold water and cool places to lay down. I’ll stay with the animals, they can’t be here alone in case one of them gets sick in this heat.” Both our dog and biggest cat were long-haired and might not survive the heat. I HAD to get my studying done. I had to go to the hotel. And so I did.

It was two days before the AC came back and we all survived. Michael never mentioned it again, never complained and never acted like it was something you didn’t do. He did this type of thing more than once (when we moved cross country and I couldn’t take the RV any more (about 3/4 of the way across), Gina and I stayed in a hotel and he stayed in the RV with the animals).

Over the stormy weekend I missed him a lot. I tried to think of some things about him that made me crazy (like his driving) but then this memory of a stormy week popped in. So no matter what, I know. There is a part of me that will aways know.

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