I was talking to someone who is traveling every day to visit a family member in the hospital far away. It reminded me of taking Michael to radiation an hour each way every day for 6 weeks. He always had a smile on his face when he went into or came out of radiation. He joked with the nurses, he told the little kids the names of the fish in the salt water tank, he said hello to anyone coming into or out of the suite. Thinking of him and his kind, courageous face going through those treatments made me feel guilty that I spent all day yesterday mad at him. And thinking of that face and how brave he was and in such good cheer, brought tears to my eyes. I was thinking, “HOW could I be mad at him?” But I can and I know it’s part of the process.

Grief is such a roller coaster ride. It never fails to surprise me.